Rejecting The Seed of Bitterness

The analogy of seeds to our everyday life and respective journeys is an accurate one. We are conceived as seeds in the womb, are birthed, and go through our lives growing physically, mentally and spiritually. The Bible speaks about the vine and the branches symbolizing Christ and his church. It speaks of God's Word as a seed planted in the hearts of the unbeliever. However, Scripture also addresses what can happen when the seeds, representing what our inner person is built on, begin to rot with bitterness. Interesting that nature so completely symbolizes what can happen to a person's "inner" being: where we truly think, feel, act and live.

In Psychology Today, the following comment regarding bitterness was posted recently in an article titled, "Bitterness: The Next Mental Disorder?":

"Bitterness is 'so common and so deeply destructive,' writes Shari Roan at the Los Angeles Times, 'that some psychiatrists are urging it be identified as a mental illness under the name post-traumatic embitterment disorder.' 'The disorder is modeled after post-traumatic stress disorder,' she continues, 'because it too is a response to a trauma that endures. People with PTSD are left fearful and anxious. Embittered people are left seething for revenge.' " (http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/side-effects/200905/bitterness-the-next-mental-disorder)

The seed of bitterness kills any good fruit, and it can kill your joy. I truly believe that a lack of joy is symptomatic of a bitter person. Extreme negativity and an unwillingness to maintain normal relationships can also be a sign of more serious problems. The fact is, psychology can tell us what is wrong, but only a person can change and in my experience, allow God to move out the bitter seed and replace it with an open can of "Act Right." Now, that's not scripture, but the Bible has something to say about bitterness....

Ephesians 4:31-32 ESV

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

What an incredible truth! When you are kind, it is impossible to be bitter. In English (literature, not language), we speak about "binary opposites" or "binary oppositions." Simply put, it is a pair of words that are completely opposite, like "up" and "down." According to Ferdinand de Saussure, each word is defined by what it is not. In the first part of the scripture, Paul lists bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor and slander in the next sentence, he lists the opposites of these things: kindness, tenderness, giving forgiveness and being Christlike. You cannot be both kind and bitter, or tender and angry! These are our "binary oppositions" in Christianity! The book of James states so clearly, "If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless." James 1:26 ESV


I've experienced being the "bitterer" and the "bitteree" (with apologies to my fellow English majors). It's not fun. And you often don't realize that it has taken hold of your life until someone points it out. Listen to the people who love you. If you are often being corrected on this point, or for an ugly remark or attitude, take it to Him. If you have heard people comment about someone else as being "negative" or "harsh," it's time to......again, take it to Him.

My father gave me some great advice that has really served me well. He said, "Why not try caring about that person? Asking what is wrong? Care and concern go a long way." Maybe this person is suffering in ways we cannot understand. Take it to Him!

For all of those who notice I refer to bitterness as a "seed" and not "seeds", it is because I truly believe that ONE seed of bitterness leads to more. We cannot allow even one seed to enter our lives.God can handle our weaknesses and as He has done so many times, forgive them and love us so much that it changes our perspective about others and ourselves. What an Awesome concept! Love kills bitterness.


Proverbs 10:12 ESV

Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.

Because of Him,

Tess

The Worship Relationship

Relationships are difficult, but worth it. The give-and-take of relationships leads, for the most part, to growth between two people. One of the ways we give place to God in our lives is through the relationship of worship. The Bible says that we should worship Him in "Spirit and in Truth (John 4)." When we worship, we must take care to do it in His Spirit and His Truth.

When I am in the midst of worship, one of the things I have learned is not to look at things with my physical and human self. God's perspective is so different and the words Spirit and Truth become so important in worship leading and worship participation. When you decide to worship God as He desires to be worshiped, one of the questions to ask internally is,"Who Is God?"

Simply, God is Love. The book of John in the New Testament is the story of God's love. God's exists outside of our bounds and therefore, His love is bigger than our human boundaries of love. His love is perfect, and holds no grudges or pre-sentiments. Paul said that even death cannot separate us from the love of God (Romans 8). It exists even outside of our limitations!

We also ask, "Who Am I?" in relationship to worship. God's love exists in Truth. He tells us who we are, as well. He lets us know our condition, as imperfect and sinful creatures, and then extends the grace of forgiveness, freely. To worship Him, despite our imperfections, is a wonderful communication with God. When we worship we receive His Truth and He gives us His Spirit, and then we can worship him in honesty.

I Corinthians 2 says: "We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us. This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words. The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him. and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned."

When we worship, we understand God's heart and his intentions toward us and towards the church. We move as one toward Him and toward His will. We don't take His place and with our paltry intentions, ruin what He wants to do. We, as worshipers, must develop a sensitivity to God and to His leadership. This is a Give relationship - God gives to us, we worship Him, and in turn, impart this gift of His Spirit and His Truth to others.

Of course, we are not robots in worship. One of the great truths of the Bible is that God ministers to us according to our receptive hearts and in many different ways. But the fact remains, we were created to worship God and when it is happening the way it should, nothing and no one can stop us from fulfilling our desire to worship; and a worshiping group of people will accomplish great things for God.

Truth Hurts, But Lies Hurt Most of All

Why it so easy to lie? We tell ourselves that it is necessary to lie everyday to save people, to prevent hurt, to avoid conflict….our culture has lying down to a science. It markets cure-alls, beautiful fake people and parts and makes the world follow trends like cats consume catnip. The purpose: to make ourselves look better or to hide the truth from others.

I remember when I lied for the first time to my mother. It was about a dollhouse she had asked me to leave alone. One of my cousins came over and wanted to play with it. My mom wanted to keep it safe, but I wanted to show off a little, and I snuck through the window, out the door, and to the backyard with it. Then I went to get my cousin from my room inside the house. We walked through the living room (sans dollhouse, since it was already well situated in the backyard) and smiled, refusing snacks and hurrying to the back. So, I turned around in the middle of my play, and saw my mom standing in her bedroom window, looking out.

My cousin and her family left and I thought, I’m gonna get in trouble. We sat down together, my mother and I, and her eyes, usually so kind, were shiny with tears.

“I’m not going to spank you,” she said. Surprise! The reality of the pain in her eyes was worse than any punishment.

Lies hurt. They hurt you most when you’re powerless to do anything about them. It seems that there is constant fabrication everywhere. Lies about what people do to one another. Lies about how we see one another. Fake smiles for one, real smiles and hugs for another; how are we supposed to know the difference?

Love does not record evil. That’s what the Bible says. That’s what I learned growing up in Missionettes.. We learned the whole passage from I Corinthians 13 that’s used so often in weddings. The Love Chapter. I think for every quality listed in that chapter there is an anti-love quality. Have you seen or experienced the opposite of each one? Have you been tempted to treat someone the same way you were treated?

One of the last things my mother ever told me was, “Stay out of useless arguments.” She was paraphrasing Scripture, but it really stuck with me, especially as I like to prove my point. Don’t we all? What does this have to do with lying? The definition of lying is not strictly what Webster’s says. It is also twisting the truth to your advantage and letting people add the rest.

I heard from someone –I don’t know the truth of it – that when a friend of hers passed away, her family was cleaning her house up and found a small book in her dresser. In the book there were names, dates and little notes, hardly visible to the eye. As they looked closely at the writing, they realized it was a list of the offenses that others had done to her. Such bitterness in such a small space!

Bitterness is like cancer. We can excise it by deciding not to hold records in our hearts and forgive. I’m not advocating letting those who would cause us harm continue to do so. Sometimes, negative talk has to be nipped in the bud. Be aware of falsehood and how easily it can grow like a root in your heart. Pledge to be honest to those around you and you will see trust grow around your life like a sweet fragrance.

That day, as I stood in front of my mother, guilty as charged, she said, “I love you, but I don’t know if I can trust you.” My heart seemed to drop and I felt so ashamed. I was embarrassed and I felt her disappointment in me. Her trust of my child size decision making abilities was very important to me!

Then she continued, “I’m going to give you a chance to win back my trust. And I can’t promise how quickly this will happen, but I know that one day, I will trust you again.” I looked up at her and she smiled and held out her arms.

What a wise lesson! Thank you, Heavenly Father, for giving us so many opportunities to win Your trust back.