Rejecting The Seed of Bitterness

The analogy of seeds to our everyday life and respective journeys is an accurate one. We are conceived as seeds in the womb, are birthed, and go through our lives growing physically, mentally and spiritually. The Bible speaks about the vine and the branches symbolizing Christ and his church. It speaks of God's Word as a seed planted in the hearts of the unbeliever. However, Scripture also addresses what can happen when the seeds, representing what our inner person is built on, begin to rot with bitterness. Interesting that nature so completely symbolizes what can happen to a person's "inner" being: where we truly think, feel, act and live.

In Psychology Today, the following comment regarding bitterness was posted recently in an article titled, "Bitterness: The Next Mental Disorder?":

"Bitterness is 'so common and so deeply destructive,' writes Shari Roan at the Los Angeles Times, 'that some psychiatrists are urging it be identified as a mental illness under the name post-traumatic embitterment disorder.' 'The disorder is modeled after post-traumatic stress disorder,' she continues, 'because it too is a response to a trauma that endures. People with PTSD are left fearful and anxious. Embittered people are left seething for revenge.' " (http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/side-effects/200905/bitterness-the-next-mental-disorder)

The seed of bitterness kills any good fruit, and it can kill your joy. I truly believe that a lack of joy is symptomatic of a bitter person. Extreme negativity and an unwillingness to maintain normal relationships can also be a sign of more serious problems. The fact is, psychology can tell us what is wrong, but only a person can change and in my experience, allow God to move out the bitter seed and replace it with an open can of "Act Right." Now, that's not scripture, but the Bible has something to say about bitterness....

Ephesians 4:31-32 ESV

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

What an incredible truth! When you are kind, it is impossible to be bitter. In English (literature, not language), we speak about "binary opposites" or "binary oppositions." Simply put, it is a pair of words that are completely opposite, like "up" and "down." According to Ferdinand de Saussure, each word is defined by what it is not. In the first part of the scripture, Paul lists bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor and slander in the next sentence, he lists the opposites of these things: kindness, tenderness, giving forgiveness and being Christlike. You cannot be both kind and bitter, or tender and angry! These are our "binary oppositions" in Christianity! The book of James states so clearly, "If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless." James 1:26 ESV


I've experienced being the "bitterer" and the "bitteree" (with apologies to my fellow English majors). It's not fun. And you often don't realize that it has taken hold of your life until someone points it out. Listen to the people who love you. If you are often being corrected on this point, or for an ugly remark or attitude, take it to Him. If you have heard people comment about someone else as being "negative" or "harsh," it's time to......again, take it to Him.

My father gave me some great advice that has really served me well. He said, "Why not try caring about that person? Asking what is wrong? Care and concern go a long way." Maybe this person is suffering in ways we cannot understand. Take it to Him!

For all of those who notice I refer to bitterness as a "seed" and not "seeds", it is because I truly believe that ONE seed of bitterness leads to more. We cannot allow even one seed to enter our lives.God can handle our weaknesses and as He has done so many times, forgive them and love us so much that it changes our perspective about others and ourselves. What an Awesome concept! Love kills bitterness.


Proverbs 10:12 ESV

Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.

Because of Him,

Tess

The Worship Relationship

Relationships are difficult, but worth it. The give-and-take of relationships leads, for the most part, to growth between two people. One of the ways we give place to God in our lives is through the relationship of worship. The Bible says that we should worship Him in "Spirit and in Truth (John 4)." When we worship, we must take care to do it in His Spirit and His Truth.

When I am in the midst of worship, one of the things I have learned is not to look at things with my physical and human self. God's perspective is so different and the words Spirit and Truth become so important in worship leading and worship participation. When you decide to worship God as He desires to be worshiped, one of the questions to ask internally is,"Who Is God?"

Simply, God is Love. The book of John in the New Testament is the story of God's love. God's exists outside of our bounds and therefore, His love is bigger than our human boundaries of love. His love is perfect, and holds no grudges or pre-sentiments. Paul said that even death cannot separate us from the love of God (Romans 8). It exists even outside of our limitations!

We also ask, "Who Am I?" in relationship to worship. God's love exists in Truth. He tells us who we are, as well. He lets us know our condition, as imperfect and sinful creatures, and then extends the grace of forgiveness, freely. To worship Him, despite our imperfections, is a wonderful communication with God. When we worship we receive His Truth and He gives us His Spirit, and then we can worship him in honesty.

I Corinthians 2 says: "We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us. This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words. The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him. and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned."

When we worship, we understand God's heart and his intentions toward us and towards the church. We move as one toward Him and toward His will. We don't take His place and with our paltry intentions, ruin what He wants to do. We, as worshipers, must develop a sensitivity to God and to His leadership. This is a Give relationship - God gives to us, we worship Him, and in turn, impart this gift of His Spirit and His Truth to others.

Of course, we are not robots in worship. One of the great truths of the Bible is that God ministers to us according to our receptive hearts and in many different ways. But the fact remains, we were created to worship God and when it is happening the way it should, nothing and no one can stop us from fulfilling our desire to worship; and a worshiping group of people will accomplish great things for God.

Truth Hurts, But Lies Hurt Most of All

Why it so easy to lie? We tell ourselves that it is necessary to lie everyday to save people, to prevent hurt, to avoid conflict….our culture has lying down to a science. It markets cure-alls, beautiful fake people and parts and makes the world follow trends like cats consume catnip. The purpose: to make ourselves look better or to hide the truth from others.

I remember when I lied for the first time to my mother. It was about a dollhouse she had asked me to leave alone. One of my cousins came over and wanted to play with it. My mom wanted to keep it safe, but I wanted to show off a little, and I snuck through the window, out the door, and to the backyard with it. Then I went to get my cousin from my room inside the house. We walked through the living room (sans dollhouse, since it was already well situated in the backyard) and smiled, refusing snacks and hurrying to the back. So, I turned around in the middle of my play, and saw my mom standing in her bedroom window, looking out.

My cousin and her family left and I thought, I’m gonna get in trouble. We sat down together, my mother and I, and her eyes, usually so kind, were shiny with tears.

“I’m not going to spank you,” she said. Surprise! The reality of the pain in her eyes was worse than any punishment.

Lies hurt. They hurt you most when you’re powerless to do anything about them. It seems that there is constant fabrication everywhere. Lies about what people do to one another. Lies about how we see one another. Fake smiles for one, real smiles and hugs for another; how are we supposed to know the difference?

Love does not record evil. That’s what the Bible says. That’s what I learned growing up in Missionettes.. We learned the whole passage from I Corinthians 13 that’s used so often in weddings. The Love Chapter. I think for every quality listed in that chapter there is an anti-love quality. Have you seen or experienced the opposite of each one? Have you been tempted to treat someone the same way you were treated?

One of the last things my mother ever told me was, “Stay out of useless arguments.” She was paraphrasing Scripture, but it really stuck with me, especially as I like to prove my point. Don’t we all? What does this have to do with lying? The definition of lying is not strictly what Webster’s says. It is also twisting the truth to your advantage and letting people add the rest.

I heard from someone –I don’t know the truth of it – that when a friend of hers passed away, her family was cleaning her house up and found a small book in her dresser. In the book there were names, dates and little notes, hardly visible to the eye. As they looked closely at the writing, they realized it was a list of the offenses that others had done to her. Such bitterness in such a small space!

Bitterness is like cancer. We can excise it by deciding not to hold records in our hearts and forgive. I’m not advocating letting those who would cause us harm continue to do so. Sometimes, negative talk has to be nipped in the bud. Be aware of falsehood and how easily it can grow like a root in your heart. Pledge to be honest to those around you and you will see trust grow around your life like a sweet fragrance.

That day, as I stood in front of my mother, guilty as charged, she said, “I love you, but I don’t know if I can trust you.” My heart seemed to drop and I felt so ashamed. I was embarrassed and I felt her disappointment in me. Her trust of my child size decision making abilities was very important to me!

Then she continued, “I’m going to give you a chance to win back my trust. And I can’t promise how quickly this will happen, but I know that one day, I will trust you again.” I looked up at her and she smiled and held out her arms.

What a wise lesson! Thank you, Heavenly Father, for giving us so many opportunities to win Your trust back.

IMAGINE....NO ROOM!
“While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.” - Luke 2:6-7

We were standing in one of the side rooms, waiting to go on stage for the next portion of Imagine Christmas, when one more person tried to squeeze into the room. Someone said, "There's no room at the inn!" And everyone cracked up...but one of our cast members said..."I wonder if that's how Mary really felt." Crowded, uncomfortable, but anticipatory and excited about the upcoming birth of our Savior.

We live in a time of ridicule of our Christian beliefs. Many years ago, my father would talk about personal Christian beliefs being challenged in places far away from me. Yet, he said it was important to know what others believed, in order to know the truth. We make room for others' beliefs in our society to avoid offense, but often, no one knows the truth regarding Christianity. Those who oppose God deliberately misrepresent Christians as completely intolerant, hateful people...the exact opposite of what we are supposed to be representing.

When the innkeeper refused the many people he refused that night, he had no room for other travelers and their families. There were many different types of people traveling to Bethlehem on that night. He might have had opportunity to give that stable to other travelers in need; yet, he recognized the necessity of allowing this particular family to use his stable. Maybe he knew why, maybe not....but the fact is, he knew what Truth to allow in his inn.

May we know the difference between the truth and what pretends to be the truth by allowing God to awaken discernment within us, so that we can say this Christmas and throughout the year, there IS room..... in my heart....for You.

Merry Christmas,

Tess

Thoughts On Leadership

My mother was the brown version of Martha Stewart. If you asked her to make a fruit salad, she carved out a watermelon, placed various types of melon balls inside the watermelon (now a fruit basket), enclose several types of dipping sauces for the fruit and say, “Do you think this is all right?”

Uh, yeah, mom….you’re only going to make all the other moms jealous, I would think. Yes, I was a bit intimidated by the fondues, sauces, stir-fry, her attempts at Middle Eastern, Japanese and Irish dishes, and her ability to do all this while on the phone. If my mom had lived in this era, she would definitely have had a Twitter, Facebook, the latest cell phone and yes, the “I Pad”. Or, she would have had me run all of these for her. It was the same way she did all she did…she had a gift for delegation.

In our small church, my cousins and I began harmonizing together at a very early age, but we were uncomfortable leading a song service. So at about 10 years old, we were her backup singers. She’d pick the music, speak encouraging words between songs and cue us as to when it was the appropriate time to sing –and stop. If we got a bit carried away, it took only a look to make our voices trail away. We would look at each other, eyes wide, and then she’d continue. Later, she would say that we really needed to follow the leader. This bit of advice has always helped me in my professional and personal life.

I don’t really separate the professional, where it concerns customer service, from my church work. To me, it is as important to act positively with clients and customers as it is in church. Too often, we forget that people are there not to be our personal servants, but to serve with us in Godly service. So when you lead, no matter at what level, remember to approach people without the natural instinct of pushing aggressively.

Following a leader is not instinctive. We can push our very best volunteers away by our attitudes. Very often, as members, we want to lead and push through our own agendas and ideas. It is important to remember, who God has placed and to support them in the vision God has given them. When we respond negatively to people, they in turn will respond negatively. This does no good to the team and someone who is consistently negative will only find frustration in following a leader or in leading others.

Therefore, as we serve together, ask yourself if you are treating others in the same manner you would like to be treated. What would you tolerate if you were leading a group? Would you jump on your followers at the first sign of what you deemed as disrespectful? Would you model for them the appropriate responses to disagreements? Are you following Christ’s model and allowing your designated people to lead, and yes, to make mistakes? Accepting God’s leadership is a test in itself, but He also places those around us in leadership over us, to ensure that we are following others as they follow Christ.

One of the most important factors in team building is motivation. As we build our team, let’s focus on our purpose: creating an atmosphere of worship to prepare for God’s word. It’s an incredible responsibility and I love fulfilling this with you!

Giving All In Worship

Someone said to me today, "It shows that you give it ALL in worship."

I really thought about that comment and truly, I want to be the kind of person that can give it all. Giving it all in worship, for me, is about paying the spiritual price every day -- letting go of my personal ego, of my "way" and replacing it with God's purpose. When I truly spend time with God, this is my sacrifice: there is no substitute.

I believe in challenging one's self to achieve the best music possible, but one can rehearse and make everything musically perfect, yet leave out the most important factor. Anyone can be a musician or singer, but it is a challenge to maintain one's own integrity when doing this in the framework of Worship. The King and Psalmist David knew the price of giving up one's own human sinful desire to choose God. Throughout his life he saw much suffering and experienced consequences from sin that were severe. However, David's life is also one of deepest praise and life changing worship.

So, yes, I have been through the fire in these past few years. Yes, I've seen some of my dearest friends fall away, I've seen jobs grow scarce, and I've felt the tendrils of self-pity at the edges of my mind. And so have you.

Through all of these things, let His mind be in you. Don't think the way humanity thinks: WIIFM (what's it it for me) can't be the motivation!! We will gain satisfaction from worship when we let his mind be in us.

My prayer for you as a worshiper, in whatever capacity that you serve in: Let God show you his abundance and grace in worship. Let His anointing flow through you, with you as his instrument, showing the Way, the Truth and the Life still is very real.

The Voice, the Music, the Anointing...

Today's thought:
The Voice: Your voice, to God, is a sweet fragrance when it comes from the most sincere part of your heart. Did you know that He looks to the very deepest part of us and searches for love?

The Music: When you move in His presence before you touch a key, the breath of God flows through you and self does not get in the way.

The Anointing: God's favor is what breaks those bound by depression, sin, and other attacks of the enemy. In the Old Testament, praise and worship went before battle. That's just what you are doing....preparing for battle.

You are called and you've chosen to follow His lead. Don't let anything or anyone tell you different.

You are blessed and God will fulfil His promises to you. You are loved by your church, by me, and by God.

Blessings,

Tess